More to life than love...

Today in my "Modern British, Irish, and Postcolonial Literature" class, we were discussing Virginia Woolf's "Modern Fiction" essay. We got on the topic of realism vs. modernism and how realism seems to actually falsify reality due to the fact that there is a specific plot with a climax and then a resolution or an ending. Life, in fact, is not like that - we have many ups and downs, and it is hard to look at one point and say, "THAT is when the bad situation started" or "This will be the beginning of the relationship" - life is more like stream of conscious writing in which many things happen and they sometimes connect and sometimes don't.

Now, I believe that, as a Christian, my life does have an overall plot and I have security in a "happy ending," but we talked about how people in general seem to prefer set plots perhaps because they are an escape from meaninglessness or the fact that life isn't always tied together with a neat bow, or we want that story ourselves.

It's interesting to me how "the world" portrays the plot of a woman's life. In the majority of movies about women, the plot of the woman's life circles around a relationship with a man. This dates way back - the only "endings" for novels about women used to be simply marriage or death. So our culture tells us, as women, that the most important thing, the thing to look forward to in life, is getting married. This idea has been so sewn into movies and books and magazines and music, and therefore sewn into girls' hearts (including my own).

I know that the purpose of my life is to serve God, and I desire to do that wholeheartedly. I know that He made relationships and that they are good - I definitely want one, and I want to serve God with that someone - but I hate how easy it becomes to focus on my desire for a relationship: success or happiness seems to stem from whether or not I am progressing in that area of my life. Sometimes, the pendulum swings to the other end of the situation, and it seems like happiness will come when I no longer want a relationship. I feel like both ends are skewed; it can't be the primary focus of my attention (that place belongs to Christ) but it can't be a nonexistent thought (because God created it for good and it is therefore possible to glorify Him with and in a relationship). The balance becomes not making it the main climax of my plot while still praying that it is in there somewhere.

So what would a plot look like where love is involved but not the only point? Just something for you to think about - what do you see the point of your life as?

Ruth, I

(I hope that you girls are still able to read this every once in awhile - I have no way to tell...)

I have been researching the book of Ruth all day, preparing for a Bible study I am going to lead on it tomorrow. We are going to explore what it means to become a woman of God, and one of our examples is Ruth. Ruth is my favorite love story of all times - it beats out Pride and Prejudice and Anne of Green Gables (mainly because this is a true story and it was orchestrated by God... haha). I have learned so much from the life of Ruth, though, and I can't wait till tomorrow when I discuss it and explore it with my group of sophomore girls.

I really recommend studying the book of Ruth. One of the themes is God's hidden hand of providence. Throughout the story, there are so many "coincidences," such as Ruth "just happening" to glean in Boaz's field and Boaz "just happening" to be a kinsman-redeemer... man. God is so good! His plan is so much higher than ours, and things that don't seem to really make sense in our lives can really be God at work!

If you want to study what Ruth has to teach you about becoming a woman of God, read Lady in Waiting by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones. This book has changed so much of me, and I am about to start reading it again just because it always convicts me and brings me to a fuller understanding of God's plan for my life in the present, in singleness, and how I can grow in becoming like Him. Also, Jackie Kendall's follow-up book to Lady in Waiting is called A Man Worth Waiting For, and that's a good one to read concerning what a man of God should look like in your life.

Also, listen to the "Redeeming Ruth" sermon series by Mark Driscoll (of Mars Hill Church in Seattle). Not only is Mark Driscoll funny, but he has some real wisdom on relationships - and he parallels the story of Ruth to the Gospel, so you can learn a lot on so many different levels of life.

I will let you know what character qualities we come up with tomorrow!

The I Am

The following is a small excerpt from the book I have told many of you about that I am working on. I haven't gotten to work on it much this semester, but it is one of my goals over the next few weeks... The title of the book is Dateless on a Friday Night and my heart is that it will be a different perspective on Christian relationships- well, maybe not so much of the relationships aspect, but kind of what I have learned through being single and how God has blessed me for waiting for His timing in this area of my life.

Have you ever heard that one of the names of God is the “I Am”? I learned this in elementary school, and always thought it was kind of weird because it didn’t seem like a complete thought. God is… what? At one point in my life I heard someone say that it meant God was whatever we needed Him to be: our Protector, our Provider, and so on.

One night during my sophomore year of college, I was lying in bed trying to go to sleep. It wasn’t working, so I started reciting the passage of the Bible I was trying to memorize at the time – Psalm 139. The words began to hit home with me, and I realized how well God knows me. The first four verses especially stuck out:

“Oh Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.”

One of my personal desires has always been to be intimately known. I want someone to ask me about my childhood years and for stories from high school. I want someone to discover the things that make me tick and the things that make me smile… maybe even if I have different smiles for different things!

If you have seen the movie Win a Date with Tad Hamilton, you will know what I am talking about. When Pete is describing Rosie (his best friend he is in love with) to Tad (the man Rosie is dating), he tells him, “Like do you know she has six smiles? One when something really makes her laugh. One when she's making plans. One when she is laughing out of politeness. One when she is uncomfortable. One when she is making fun of herself. And one when... she's talking about her friends.” Talk about knowing someone completely! I want someone that knows me so deeply that he knows things about me that I don’t even realize about myself.

I have always waited and hoped that this desire would be met by a boy one day. What I didn’t realize is that God knows me like that. He knows every detail of my life. I don’t even have to say something before He knows what I will ask. He wants to be the one to fulfill that desire in me.

This sparked an idea: what if I made up a list of the traits that I was wanting to find in a man, then truly make that my “Perfect Man” list by finding Scripture that backed up these desires. Here is part of that list:

· A desire to know someone intimately: Psalm 139, John 10:14, Matthew 6:8, 32

· A desire to be called beautiful and special: Psalm 45:11, Isaiah 61:3

· A desire for someone to always be there: Isaiah 49:15, Joshua 1:5, Hebrews 13:5, Matthew 28:20

· A desire for someone to listen when I need to talk: Psalm 94:9, Isaiah 65:24

· A desire for someone to protect me, take care of me: Zephaniah 3:17, Psalm 91:14, Psalm 32:7, Nahum 1:7

· A desire to be loved – eternally, fully, unconditionally: Jeremiah 31:3, Psalm 32:10, Isaiah 54:10, Psalm 136:1, Psalm 147:11, Lamentations 3:22, Hosea 2:14, John 15:13

Someday, maybe I will have a man that fulfills these to some extent (I am not expecting someone to be perfect and completely fulfill every detail), but I always will have Christ. He wants to fill that role in my life. And that’s where I want Him to be. Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” He has already given me the desires of my heart because He is the desire of my heart.

All You Need is Love

First of all, I am SO SORRY that I have not been able to update lately. I have a lot going on in my life - all good stuff, with school and the Bible study that I lead and the ministry I am involved in - but I haven't had much free time in general, much less time to sit down and write.

I hope that your school year is going well so far! I pray that you have found your identity in Christ, not in the opinions of your classmates, and that you are looking to the Word for truth. You girls can be such a light in your dark schools (public OR private), and I hope that you are living it out for Christ. It's not always easy to make the right decisions concerning friends or parties or movies or boys - I know it's hard, I've been there - but I want you to know that you will be blessed and rewarded for living your life for Christ.

Something I have been really challenged by lately is loving others. I am involved in a ministry called Campus Crusade for Christ (Cru for short), and the past couple of weeks I have been meeting freshmen and other people who haven't been involved and inviting them to come to our weekly meeting (worship and a speaker) and to join Bible studies. I have been praying that God would give me a love for them so that I am wanting them to be involved because I love them and want them to grow closer to God.

John 13:24-25 says, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." According to this Scripture, one of the most powerful testimonies that we can give is by our love for other Christians. On the surface, you'd think that would be easy, but there are always people in our lives who rub us the wrong way. Or maybe they don't even respect us and love us, so we don't think it's worth it to try to love them. Matthew 5:46-48, though, says, "If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you green only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

It's easy to love people who love us back. But anyone can do that. As a Christian, we are called to love everyone. Love isn't just an emotion or a feeling - it is displayed in actions. 1 John 3:18 exhorts us to "let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." I want other to see Christ in me through the way I love others - whether it is by giving my full attention in a conversation or choosing to spend time with someone whom I don't know very well or even praying for and encouraging someone that I don't get along with.

I challenge you to look at the relationships in your life - how well are you loving others? Are you reflecting Christ's love for us by the way you treat the people around you?